10 signs you are dating a narcissist

Is your new partner charming, attentive, and maybe a little too good to be true? While dating someone new can feel thrilling, sometimes that magnetic charisma masks a deeply self-centered and toxic personality. Narcissists often dominate conversations with tales of their accomplishments, show little tolerance for criticism, and have an inflated sense of self. But they rarely reveal these traits upfront, instead, they may shower you with compliments, gifts, and grand gestures, a tactic known as 'love bombing'. Over time, though, the relationship can leave you feeling confused, unheard, and emotionally drained. Wondering if you're dealing with a narcissist? Here are 10 signs to watch out for.
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After the initial phase of wooing is over and you are giving a serious thought about commitment, you may find your attentive and caring partner suddenly shifting their conversations and focus on themselves. You would see them bragging about their accomplishments, their unique talents or traits for you to admire, their challenges that they overcame. Your issues would all of a sudden stop mattering and they will only listen to you when you are talking about them.(Picture courtesy: iStock)

Narcissists feel the need to be better than people closest to them. They would compete with you constantly and feel the need to make your achievements feel smaller due to their imagined superiority. Instead of celebrating your successes, they may downplay them, mock your choices, or suggest you have made a mistake. This will leave you second-guessing yourself. This kind of emotional manipulation is a hallmark of narcissistic behavior. The reason they engage in such behaviour is because your strength makes them feel small.(Picture courtesy: iStock)

Narcissists do not want to shift attention from them even for a minute and they would constantly interrupt people to be the centre of attention in any conversation, whether it's related to them or not. Whether you are sharing a story, expressing your feelings, or simply trying to contribute to a conversation, they often cut you off mid-sentence. It’s not just occasional or accidental, it’s a pattern. They may hijack the topic to shift the focus back to themselves or dismiss what you are saying as unimportant. Over time, this behavior can make you feel invisible or unheard, as if your voice and experiences don't matter.

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Narcissists disappear from the picture when you need them the most. They would not show up when they are needed to show emotional support during tough time or simply would not follow through on promises. Such people are inconsistent and self-serving. Worst, when you are upset, they may downplay your emotions or twist the situation to make it about them. They’re often emotionally unavailable, brushing off your needs or becoming defensive when you express vulnerability. Over time, this lack of dependability can leave you feeling alone and second-guessing your own expectations. In a relationship, reliability builds trust—but with a narcissist, that foundation is shaky at best.

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That's because of their mood swings. If they are feeling superior on a given day, they may be loving and warm, but if things don't go their way, they would instantly switch to being sarcastic and cold, withdrawing affection or lashing out with cutting remarks. Their emotional responses are often tied to how much control or admiration they feel in the moment. If they sense a loss of power or feel criticized even slightly they may punish you through passive-aggressive behaviour, emotional withdrawal, or sudden outbursts. This unpredictability can keep you walking on eggshells, unsure of which version of them you will face next.

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Narcissists often take pleasure in bending or outright breaking rules and social norms without remorse. Whether it’s cutting in line, consistently under-tipping, taking office supplies without permission, canceling plans last minute, or ignoring traffic laws, they act as if the rules simply don’t apply to them.
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Narcissists tend to feel they are special and more important than others. Since in their head, they feel the entire world revolves around them, they like favours from others. While they would expect people to address their needs, they wouldn't feel the need to do anything for them in return. If you are on your first date, you could see how your date is treating waitress or waiter, and other support staff. If your date behaves like a king or queen and gets agitated by minor service flaws, this could point towards a narcissistic trait.
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Narcissists believe they deserve only the best, whether it’s the finest clothes, the most expensive gadgets, or prime attention from others. They often go to great lengths to ensure they stand out and feel superior, demanding luxury and special treatment in every situation. This constant need to have the best isn’t just about material things, it's about reinforcing their self-image as someone exceptional and above others.
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Narcissists have an intense need to be better than those around them. Whether it’s at work, in social settings, or even within relationships, they turn everything into a competition to prove their superiority. This relentless drive to outshine others often creates tension and leaves those around them feeling undervalued or dismissed.

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Narcissists struggle to truly understand or care about your feelings and needs. While they might appear charming and attentive at first, their concern usually centers on how situations affect them. This lack of real empathy can leave you feeling misunderstood and emotionally isolated, as they prioritize their own desires over your emotional well-being.
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